Irish Joke of the Week

What It Means To Be Irish:

1) You will never play professional basketball - or if you, you won't be that good.

2) You swear very well.

3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home
owner or holds political office.

4) You think you sing very well.

5) You have no idea how to make a long story short.

6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone...

7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled.

8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.

9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer
(ya know ya were thinkin' about bein' bad whether ya did it or not).

10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.

12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.

13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.

14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or
Eileen... and there is at least one member of your family with the full
name of Mary Catherine Eileen.

15) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

16) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking.

17) There wasn't a huge difference between your last Wake and your last keg party.

18) You are, or know someone, named Murph.

19) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or
Mac then you know Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.

20) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

21) You have Irish Alzheimer's... your forget everything but your grudges!

22) "Irish Stew" is a euphemism for "boiled left overs."

23) All of your losses are alcohol related (loss of virginity, loss of drivers license,
loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from punch...)
but it never stops you from drinking.